Thursday, June 9, 2011

Accidental versus Intentional

Because I'm a masochist, I often find myself watching that stupid MTV show, "16 & Pregnant".  I'm always amazed at the stories of "accidental" pregnancy, which normally translate to "my boyfriend is too cheap and lazy to buy condoms".

A pregnant friend of mine was telling me about a patient who goes to the same obstetrician as her.  Though pregnant, the girl is so young that she has to bring her mom with her to sign all her medical forms.

It's just baffling to me because I know so many women who want to get pregnant and can't, but these young girls don't (at least they say they don't) want to get pregnant, and they seem to do so SO easily.

Look at the contradictory advice for preventing and achieving pregnancy:

For girls who DON'T want to get pregnant
You CAN get pregnant on your first time, even if you haven't gotten your period yet.
You CAN get pregnant on your period.
Taking a bath or shower right afterward does nothing to prevent conception (nor does peeing, nor jumping up and down, nor douching).
Standing and other positions where the woman is upright do nothing to prevent pregnancy, either.
You can get pregnant right after you stop taking birth control, if you miss more than one pill, or if you haven't been taking it at least a month.
There's a word for couples who practice withdrawal as their method of birth control.  It's "parents".

On the flip side...

For women who DO want to get pregnant
There are a magical four days a month when you're fertile.  You have to implement a calendar, thermometers, an abacus, and a zodiac star chart to find out what days those are.  All the sex in the world any other day of the month is useless.
Don't take a bath or shower right after sex.  Don't pee for at least a half hour.  Don't even stand up.  In fact, lay on your back with a pillow propping your butt up in the air.
Once you get off birth control, you can be infertile for as long as up to a year.  Whether you took the pill for three months or three years.
Don't smoke, don't drink alcohol, don't drink caffeine.  Take folic acid every day.  Iron supplements are good too.  Eat pineapple during your 2ww.

Okay, scientific research.  Which one is it?  When we're young, you tell us that being alone in a room with a boy will instantly make us mommies.  When we're older (and not even that old) it apparently requires the assistance of a team of doctors and/or wizards.

And, I know I've said it before, but I'm really sick of eating pineapple.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Because unfortunately, on the whole our bodies are made to grab the first sperm that swims by at that age. By the time you are 25, you are starting down the slippery slope of not being as fertile as you were. This does not mean you can't get pregnant later in life-my oldest first time mom was 53.
-a doctor and/or wizard

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