Sunday, June 26, 2011

Letter to a grieving loved one.

I'm not going to try to say anything to make it better.  There is nothing I can say that can make it better.  There is nothing anyone can say that will make it better.

That doesn't mean people won't try.  People are going to tell you some trite, meaningless, and downright dumb things in an attempt to console you.  Try to forgive them for this, and understand that they feel the need to fill the air with words because, in the silence, is the crushing truth that nothing but time can heal this.

I know you're in pain, that you're grieving.  I want you to know that there is no one right way to grieve.  However you are grieving, that is the right way for you.  If you need to lie in bed and cry for days, then you should do that.  If you would rather to go out with your friends and try to take your mind off things, that's fine, too.  It doesn't matter how other people think you should respond.  Whatever helps you right now, that is the right thing to do.

Though it may be hard to believe now, soon, probably sooner than you think, there will be a moment where you feel happy.  You may be surprised to find that you can feel this way so soon, and will probably even feel guilty.  That's okay.

It's also okay to be a little angry with God, and hurt, and confused.  It's unfair, and you have a right to feel anger at the injustice of it.  Though He may feel far away right now, God feels your hurt, and grieves with you.

Know that the people who care about you are grieving with you right now, too.  We may be keeping our distance because we're afraid of saying the wrong thing, or feel like you probably don't want to be around a lot of people right now.  But we hope you know that if you need anything at all, even if it seems silly or unimportant, we are here for you.

I love you very much, and I am in constant prayer for you.  If there is anything you need from me, I'm here.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your loved one is very fortunate to have you.

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