If Only...

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

And now a break from the hiatus...

Sorry for the lack of blogginess lately.  There have been a series of personal crises in my life in the past week or so, and the resulting stress (combined with a nasty lingering head cold for my little one and I) have put posting on the backburner.  Probably won't be writing much for a while until some of the issues are resolved, but I can give you a couple of brief updates on what's going on.

1.  My sister and niece moved a couple of states away.  Yeah, it's only temporary, but it still totally sucks.  And my family, for better or for worse, is pretty tight, so I'm used to seeing these two very frequently.  Now I've lost my couponing buddy, and my son has lost his partner in crime.  Though he dotes on his baby boy cousin, and trails around in admiration after his older girl cousin, it's his 1-year-younger cousin with whom he has the most in common, and with whom he plays the best.  Now he keeps asking for her, and it's hard to make a 2-year-old understand concepts like how someone who used to live close lives far away now, or how long two weeks (when he'll next see them) is.

2.  I had my first fertility appointment.  This, at least, went pretty well.  Also, not much like I expected.  You get this image from t.v. and movies of blinding white, sterile offices with charts and models of uteruses (uteri?) and fallopian tubes, and a serious but smiling doctor in a lab coat.  When I met my new doctor, he was wearing a lab coat, but that was about where the similarities ended.  His office was warm and masculine, lots of heavy oaks and deep colors.  No charts, but a bunch of pictures of family (he has a ton of kids, go figure) and a funny plaque from my old doc, who retired earlier this year.  It looked like the office of a tenured Ivy League professor, not an OBGYN.

He was straightforward and dry, and when he asked me questions, he actually listened to my responses.  (An almost unheard of trait amongst doctors.)  I appreciated his directness and the fact that, instead of just prescribing a treatment and sending me on my way, he actually took the time to explain why he wants to go a certain route, and how he thinks it will help me.  That scored a lot of points with me.

Here is the breakdown of what we discussed and decided...

Fact:  I was relatively healthy, got pregnant, and had a baby.  During that time, I grew tumors and eventually lost all of my left ovary and tube, and half of my right ovary.  Gained lots of scar tissue in the process.  Now I'm having trouble getting pregnant.

Conclusion:  No need to bother testing thyroid or bloodwork or anything like that, because it seems logical to believe that losing 75% of my reproductive organs is the cause of the problem.  With two ovaries I got pregnant, with half an ovary I can't.  Probably not related to some hidden genetic condition.

Action:  Three cycles of Clomid, just to make sure I'm ovulating.  Bloodwork towards the end of each cycle to check my progesterone levels.  If that doesn't work, go in and make sure nothing's blocking the tube.  (A fun little procedure called a hysterosalpingogram.  Consider that your word of the day.  Seriously, try to work that into a sentence.)

Though a lot of doctors, operating under renowned CYA policy would put me through the full range of testing and bloodwork before starting a treatment, my new doctor is not doing that, because it's expensive and exhausting and illogical.  I appreciate that.

I also appreciate the fact that he was forthcoming about possible side effects of my new prescription, even saying, "Apologize to your husband for me.  A lot of women go crazy on Clomid."  Some people might be offended by that.  I just like the honesty.

So, that's a little bit of what's going on in my life.  There's a lot more behind the scenes, but nothing I'm really emotionally ready (or feel safe) to write about now.  I'll keep you updated as I can.

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