Welcome to Adulthood, Population: Me (+ a few billion others)

A lot of days, I don't feel like much of an adult.  Sure I have things like a kid, and a mortgage, and a really awesome corner office, all to myself.  But I also do thinks like eat Milk Duds (and nothing else) for lunch, or just wear whatever old skirt and shirt combo that was initially bought because it fit my Christian high school's dress code.  (If you've met me more than once, it's likely that you've seen me in clothing that's almost a decade old.)

So there's a lot of times when I feel only like a pseudo-grown-up. I have this mythical image in my head of a "real" grown-up being someone who can change the oil in their car, or make a casserole from scratch, or knows how to get stains out of things using club soda. ("Real" grown-ups are also people who own club soda, presumably for the express purpose of getting stains out of things.)

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A Facebook app I would pay money for...

Last night, I got a text from my little sister.  It simply read:  "Don't get on Facebook."

But, alas, it was too late.  I had already seen that day's pregnancy announcement.

Yes, "that day's".  See, around the holidays, all the happy little preggers women like to start announcing all their happy little pregnancies.  There were five new pregnancies announced on my Facebook feed last week.  That's like, one per workday.  (I'm assuming pregnancy announcements get the weekends off.)

And it's not like I'm not happy for all my pregnant friends.  On a per individual basis, I am happy for each and every one of them.  Thrilled, even.  But when the announcements are coming at me rapid-fire, it's just a reminder that I failed again this cycle, that I'm still not pregnant.  It also makes me feel even lonelier and more isolated, because it seems like everyone can get pregnant except for me.

So, I have been thinking of a design for a new Facebook application that would make everyone else's pregnancies easier on me.  (Because, obviously, people I haven't spoken to since high school should be taking my feelings into consideration before they decide to grow their families.)  Here are some of the features for my new app, which I'm tentatively titling "Bitter Infertile":

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"Only child"ren get a bad rap.

It started this past Sunday when my husband had to work and my two-year-old son, who normally goes home with him for a nap during 2nd service, had to endure two consecutive church services.  In the same classroom, with the same lesson he had just heard.

Not only that, but I always teach second service preschool, as to avoid being in the same class as my son.  Not that I'm avoiding my kid, but it's hard for a young toddler to understand that, while I'm his mommy, I also have to be everyone else's teacher.

To only compound the matter further, there is a little girl who is always in my class who, though I try not to play favorites, I do have a closer relationship with than I do the other kids.  (Regular attendee, friends with her mom, see her more often, etc.)  Since she's there every week, she's used to getting a little bit extra attention from me.

This has led to, on the rare occassions when my son is in my class, him and this little girl (who are normally the sweetest of friends) getting into tiffs over who gets to sit in my lap.  Doesn't seem like a big deal, but, again, we're dealing with sleepy toddlers here.

So, this repeated itself this past Sunday, with my son being a fussy grumpus with the other kids yet, magically, transforming into a sweet and helpful little child the second service ended and the others' parents picked them up.  Suddenly he was helping with clean-up, chatting up the other adult volunteers, etc.

One of the other teachers turned to me and asked, "So...he's an only child then?"

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I'm going through Great Wolf Lodge withdrawal.

Sorry for being MIA the last couple of weeks, but I've been crushed by the weight of my social calendar.  Not something to complain about, really.  I've been having a blast.

This past Sunday through Tuesday, for instance, I spent with my family on our first ever vacation to Great Wolf Lodge.  This place is amazing.  We walked into the lobby (which is about 80 feet high) and it was beautifully decorated with Christmas trees, a huge hearth, and a life-sized gingerbread house.  It even smelled incredible, with some sort of piney fragrance they were pumping in through the ducts.

The whole place is huge, but manages to have everything you could want while still keeping with the "lodge" theme.  (They even had a Dunkin' Donuts on-site, but with regular DD prices.  Sweet.)  In addition to the water park, there's a cafeteria, gift shop, huge arcade, etc.

And the water park itself is awesome.  They have some of the best waterslides I've ever been on (that scary pic up top is from the Howlin' Tornado), but without the huge lines and endless walking that comes with a typical water park.  Also, there was a bunch of stuff for the little kids, so even my son could play relatively-independently.  (Extra nice touch:  They provide life vests for the kids, gratis.)

You can't beat the place for convenience, either.  You get a wristband your first day there, which serves not only as your entrance to the water park, but also is your room key.  Yeah.  High-tech.  If you want, you can even attach a credit card to it, and spend the rest of your stay just waving your wrist at a scanner when you want to buy something.  (Even works on vending machines!)

Everything was wonderful.  Our room was lovely, the food was great, and there was so much to do, but without feeling like you had to rush.  Even the nearby malls and restaurants were nice.

I only had one real complaint, and it was with the door latch.  You see, my two-year-old son quickly figured out three things:  he could open the door to our room, the band on his wrist was money, and the vending machine was right down the hall.

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