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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Love is a battlefield. PvP is a battleground.

One of my favorite websites recently published an article about what's it like for the kids of the home video game generation who are now growing up to have kids of our own. http://http://www.cracked.com/article_18819_the-4-most-important-things-to-know-as-gamer-parent.html Considering my son created his first WoW character and logged on with it at the age of 14 months, I consider these lessons that I really need to take to heart. (Okay, so he just happened to get hold of my husband's mouse and keyboard and through chance just happened to press the right things to get him logged in. Also, it was a night elf rogue, but I won't hold that against him.)

So even though he still hasn't quite mastered the basics of spoon technology, there is no doubt in my mind that, in a few short years, my son will be a gamer. He doesn't have a chance. My husband and I both have level 85s on the Cairne server (warrior and paladin, respectively), and from the time my little man was born, he's spent many a cuddly night in Daddy's lap during guild raiding runs. And since then, we too have learned a thing or two about being gamer parents.

During high-intensity raids or dungeons, turn Ventrilo or TeamSpeak off. My son doesn't need to hear the stream of profanity Daddy's childless guildmates tend to unleash during a wipe. Also, my little monster is (as I've mentioned in previous posts) a bit of a ham, and tends to think that the microphone is there for his use, ability to, you know, actually speak be darned.

During highly contested battlegrounds, turn Mommy's mouth off. What? I'm competetive. And Alliance sucks (especially rogues). "Glory to the Sin'Dorei!"

Babies are absolutely awful at Dance Dance Revolution. Not that he doesn't try. He already spontaneously bursts into dance any time there's music with a beat (but he's not cheesy, more "Glee" than "High School Musical"). The problem with DDR is that he's still at the age where he wants to copy everything his parents do, at the exact same time they're doing it. So, while I'm busting out a move to "Bad Romance", he's squeezing his way onto the dance pad with me and completely monopolizing the up arrow (really kills my combos).

Toddler bowel movements are timed for precisely the moment you leave the checkpoint in the final stage. You know those nasty, soggy bottom, has to be addressed the second they happen poopy diapers? At the most critical moment in your game, your kid is going to have a complete blow-out of one of those. (This is doubly true for games that can't be paused.)

So those are just a few of the things I've learned, off the top of my head. Share your parenting/gaming experiences in the comments below!

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