Dear Fox Broadcasting Company...

You have four primetime television series which I follow very closely.  There are, in descending order of favoritism:  Glee, House, Bones, and Fringe.

"Glee" is about singing, dancing, nerdy highschoolers.  "House" is about a misanthropic, Vicodin-addicted genius diagnostician.  "Bones" is about a forensic anthropologist and team who assist the FBI on murder cases.  No one is still entirely sure what "Fringe" is about.  (Two universes?  Creepy bald men in hats?  Practical applications for LSD?)

But there is something that all four of these very disparate shows have in common (apart from my loyal viewership).  100% of these shows have major story arcs regarding pregnancies.

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Hate it when guys hit on you? Have a kid.

People tell me all the time that I look just like Angelina Jolie, especially my two, non-jealous boyfriends, Alexander Skarsgard and Zachary Quinto.  Unfortunately, somewhere between them telling me that and winning the Pulitzer of Blogging, I wake up.

So, no, I've never really been mistaken for Angelina.  But, just a few years ago, I was considered by many to be quite the hot young thing.  I had a string of boyfriends, and always guys fighting over me.  (Any woman who tells you she doesn't like guys competing for her attention is a filthy liar, or has never had it happen.)  I could go to clubs and the doorman wouldn't make me pay the cover charge, and I never had to buy my own drinks once I was inside.

Even the first few years after I was married, it wasn't so bad.  I could flash my ring and got to say, "I'm flattered, but no thanks, I'm married."  At my work, where I got bonuses for large sales, I'd take my ring off.  "Oh, I totally get that you only want to keep a betta fish and a few tetras.  I just think they'd look amazing in this 250-gallon under some metal halide lighting."  (Of course, I got my comeuppance once I got a stalker, who called the store about 20 times a day looking for me, and didn't understand why I never came on the service calls to his house.  The manager finally asked him not to come in anymore.)

Despite getting creeped out by overbearing older guys a few times, I always enjoyed my harmless flirting.  It was a nice self-esteem boost, and I always made sure I wasn't leading anyone on.

Then I got pregnant.

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Pregnancy and babyhood: What the books don't talk about

Though I have very few female friends, there are two ladies around my age I meet with once a week.  Of the three of us, I have a 19-month-old, one has a 10-month-old, and the other is 21 weeks pregnant with her first.

And let me tell you what...It gives me such a self-esteem boost to have a pregnant friend ask me questions about pregnancy and childbirth.  It makes me feel great about myself as a mother.  This woman knows my son pretty well, has kept him in the nursery before, and I guess she thinks I'm doing a decent job if she's interested in my opinions.  As a (relatively) new mom, it really validates me.

Of course, I can't say the other woman with a child and I don't take a bit of perverse delight in informing our pregnant friend about some of the less pleasant things associated with having a little one (the stuff even the most "honest" baby books only glaze over).  Stuff I wish someone had told me.  Things like:

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Where is the pill for men?: Part 2

(...continued from Part 1.)  Hormonal contraceptives work via four steps.  Each subsequent step is a back-up of the prior steps, i.e., if the first step fails, the second step comes into play, if they both fail, then the third step is utilized, etc.  Here are the steps.

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Where is the pill for men?: Part 1

Some of the most important decisions we make in raising kids is deciding when we want to do so.  We want to wait until we've been married a little while, our finances are better, our health is better, when our first kid's a little older, etc.  You know you want to have a kid (or another kid) someday, just maybe not today.

And, thanks to modern medicine, women have a ton of options when it comes to delaying pregnancy.  So it falls to us to figure out how we want to do that.  And the husbands just let us be the ones to take care of it.

Well, I'm sick of it.  Maybe it's just me, but it's my personal opinion that birth control sucks.  I'll even run you down the list and tell you what I hate about every method.

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The mythical "perfect" age gap

When I daydream about my son having a younger sibling, I tend to jump a few years in the future. When the baby crazies kick in, I get that pretty picture of my little boy at around six-years-old, sweetly and protectively playing with a younger brother or sister around three-years-old.

Or I think of having a big round preggo-belly and explaining to my son that his little brother or sister is in there, and him giggling when mommy's tummy jumps and bounces around.

Or, having a newborn baby, whom my son will stare at adoringly and beg to be allowed to hold, and we will if he sits on the couch right next to us and is very careful.

Fortunately, the real me is cynical enough to shake off these hormonal delusions and foresee the realistic scenario a 2nd baby would mean right now. And because I'm one cold, analytical chick at heart, I like to carefully weigh out the pros and cons.

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Pregnant is the new black.

We all (at least, all the women) know how it is to get the baby-crazies every once in a while. For me, I'm dealing with the fact that my baby is now really a full-fledge walking, talking (kinda) toddler. Just about every woman at my church is pregnant or just (like, within the past month) had a baby, and one of my best friends is firmly in "I want another baby RIGHT NOW!" mode.

My sister has an adorable little newborn, as well. But still I know the timing's not right and I need to wait until it is. (Till my health is better, till I've been at my job a little longer, till we have more money saved up, till my son's potty-trained, etc.)

But being around all these pregnant women and babies makes me really want the chance to do it over. My pregnancy and delivery of my son were so difficult and traumatic; it'd be nice to get a chance to do things over, with more knowledge, with more attentive doctors...

So I started wondering, is pregnancy really contagious? Obviously not on its own, but do the people around you influence your decision? According to this one workplace study, totally.

Of course, they only studied women in the workplace (as opposed to family, church and social circles, etc.), so I guess I'm lucky to work with 11 guys in my department.

Still though...it's like everyone once in a while all my brain can think is "baby".